


Let’s Go Back to the Start

by astralfreckles



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, F/M, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralfreckles/pseuds/astralfreckles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Farkle and Riley officially claim Hernshead in Central Park as their favorite spot. They declare that it’s a great place to stargaze, so the next time they go, they bring a blanket, flashlights, and thermoses full of tea. It becomes their thing. And it’s like that almost every weekend, just the two of them and the night."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let’s Go Back to the Start

**Author's Note:**

> I like exploring the blurred line of friendship versus more. Farkle and Riley are best friends, but maybe they are even a tiny bit more than that. It can get messy. 
> 
> Just to note, I tried to incorporate some sensory elements into the story (scents, touch, sound). Also, I guess this is an AU in the sense that Smackle and Farkle start going out in high school in this story instead of middle school like the show portrays. In real life, there are laws against being in public parks after dark, so let’s pretend those laws don't exist here. 
> 
> I suggest looking up a picture of Hernshead (It's beautiful), and feel free to check out the playlist in the end notes, especially for the song mentioned in the party scene.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

It’s the summer before freshman year.

Farkle and Riley officially claim Hernshead in Central Park as their favorite spot. They declare that it’s a great place to stargaze, so the next time they go, they bring a blanket, flashlights, and thermoses full of tea. It becomes _their_ thing. And it’s like that almost every weekend, just the two of them and the night.

Sometimes, Farkle brings his telescope and gets lost among the stars. Riley brings her journal and gets lost in _him_. She pretends that she’s looking out at the water of The Lake, but instead she watches him. She notices that when he finds something interesting, his face lights up with fascination. She recognizes that face. That’s the face _she_ makes when she’s looking at him.

She opens her journal to a new page and writes the title “Star-Crossed”. Her pen pauses on the page before finishing the line with “Friends”. She writes about blue eyes and jean jackets and lingering hugs. Just as Riley finishes, she looks up to see Farkle staring at her.

Smiling, Farkle says, “Are you going to show me them one day?”

Riley replies, “Maybe. We don’t know what the future holds, right?”

Farkle playfully rolls his eyes at the avoidance of his question and lies down on the flannel blanket. He’s on his back with one knee bent up toward the sky. Riley closes her journal and sets it down on the ground before lying next to him. It’s funny, because all of the sudden, she feels freer somehow. She feels like she’s floating among the stars, but Farkle’s her anchor, never letting her get lost.

At the thought of this, Riley makes a soft noise as she smiles to herself. Farkle turns to look at her, and Riley’s eyes find his in the darkness. She stares at them, then his lips, then his Adam’s apple. She sees it move as he swallows and it pulls her back to reality. Her eyes dart back up to his and find that he’s looking right through her.

“What are you staring at?” she asks calmly. She doesn’t mean to carry a malicious or teasing tone. It’s an honest question.

“Right now? Your eyes,” Farkle says candidly. Riley holds her breath because she has no clue how to respond to that. Farkle continues with an inquisitive tone. “Have they always been this dark? The lack of lighting around us is probably just messing with my head.”

Riley lets the breath out and stammers, “Y-yeah. That’s probably it.” She can see his face light up as he goes into research mode.

One question after another, Farkle asks, “What about mine? How do they look? Do they appear darker too?” Before she can even process his words, Farkle is in her space with his face right in front of hers. “So? What do you see?” he continues.

After a few seconds, she bluntly replies, “The universe.”

Farkle starts to laugh, reacting to what he thinks is a joke. But when he sees that Riley isn’t laughing with him, he stops and stares at her as if he’s searching for something.

He breaks their eye contact to direct his gaze down at his hands. They’re currently playing with the frayed bits of his sweatshirt cuffs as he thinks. Riley keeps her focus on him as he stalls. She assumes he’s analyzing her words in his head.

Farkle must come to some conclusion, because he leans in toward her and lays a soft kiss on her forehead. His lips hesitate on her skin, and then he slowly pulls away. He avoids eye contact as he turns to lie on his back again, but Riley can see his lips form a small smile.

At that moment, Riley’s thankful for the cool wind that grazes her face. It proves that whatever just happened between them was real.

\--------------------------------------------------

It’s spring, and freshman year is proving to be more stressful than they thought it would be.

Farkle has a particularly bad day in May. The night before, he called Riley at two in the morning, trying to find solace in his best friend as his parents argued a little too loudly in the next room. He had to get up only a few hours later for school, so the entire day seemed to drag on as he just barely kept it together in front of everyone. Farkle was apprehensive to go home when school was done, so the two of them boarded the C train to Central Park, hoping to escape reality for a little while.

They arrive at Hernshead to find the daffodils and azaleas resonating beauty throughout the whole area. When they get to the rock, Farkle sits down and stares out at the water.

“I feel so tired. Let’s just camp out here tonight,” Farkle jokes. He lies down on his side facing away from Riley. She has to admit, he does look really tired.

“As fun as that would be, we would get into trouble!” Riley laughs. She honestly can’t tell if he’s being serious or not.

“I know, I know. It’s so nice out, though. Let’s just rest for a little bit.” Farkle yawns, and then he goes silent.

As Riley sits in the comfortable silence, she closes her eyes and takes in the aroma of the flowers. It’s something peaceful to counteract the heartache she’s feeling. She doesn’t fully understand it, but when Farkle’s upset, her emotions echo his twofold. Sometimes it scares her how intensely she can feel _his_ feelings.

Riley turns to look at Farkle who is lying still on the ground. She knows this situation all too well, and it pains her to see him like this. When they were little, Riley would always keep him locked in a hug until he felt better, so she follows her instinct and lies down behind him. She hesitates at first, but then she presses her whole body against his back and puts her arm around his waist. Believing Farkle’s already asleep, Riley places her face at the nape of his neck. Out of complete curiosity, she closes her eyes and breathes in deep. It takes a few seconds for a scent to fill her senses, but once it does, she quickly opens her eyes and moves back away from him in shock. She’s a little startled by how attracted she is to it. Farkle, in a sleepy haze, notices this and turns around to face her.

“Did you just…smell me?” Farkle asks, a little out of breath.

“I have no clue why I did that,” Riley admits.

“So, what do I smell like?”

_Like cinnamon and cloves. Like pine and mint and the rain. Like everything comfortable and safe in the world._

“Nothing in particular, but you should still probably shower later just in case,” she lies in a witty tone, avoiding the question and her feelings.

Farkle chuckles, and then with a lazy grin he says, “Fine. My turn.”

Riley’s initial surprise transforms into nervous butterflies in her stomach. She wants to see how this plays out, though, so she turns around to face away from him. Farkle gets close, his body hovering just inches away from hers. He cards his fingers through her long hair and tousles it a bit so it falls to one side. His lips are pressed to the back of her neck as he breathes in, and Riley can’t help but sigh at his touch. Farkle stays still for a moment and then rests his forehead against the back of her head.

In between breaths he says, “Are you wearing perfume?”

“Yeah,” she whispers.

He hums in response, and Riley can feel the vibrations from it all the way down her back. She bites her lip to prevent a whimper from escaping.

“It’s nice. Flowers?”

“Peonies,” she clarifies in a soft whisper. She’s so afraid to reply loudly for fear of breaking the spell they’re in.

Farkle drapes his arm around Riley’s waist and says, “Let’s just stay here a few more minutes. Just like this.” He tightens his hold on her as he emphasizes the last word.

“Sure, Farkle. Anything you want.”

And she means it, completely and truly.

If only she had the courage to tell him what _she_ wants.

\--------------------------------------------------

It’s the following September, and everything changes the day Farkle starts going out with Smackle.

Riley wished it caught her by surprise. Maybe that would have made it hurt less. But it wasn’t surprising. Not at all. They’re so alike, and Smackle is so obviously in love with him. Smackle let her feeling be known, and Farkle was ecstatic. How could she get in the way of that?

That day after school, Riley walked to Hernshead alone. She sat down on the rock and hugged her knees to her chest. It wasn’t the same. It didn’t feel right. She realized that it wasn’t necessarily the place that made it special; it was Farkle being there with her. It was him. It was _them_.

It’s hard for Riley to smile around the new couple. It’s even harder to contain her jealously, so most times when she sees Smackle walking toward their group, she finds an excuse to leave right before Smackle leans in to kiss Farkle. Riley can’t bear to see that.

It was hard enough seeing him receive his first kiss. One night, before Smackle left Topanga’s to make her way home, she laid a quick kiss on Farkle’s lips in front of the whole group. Riley anticipated Farkle to be surprised, because she knew that was his first _real_ kiss, but she didn’t expect him to lean back in for a second, longer kiss. Everyone else smiled at each other or made quite noises of victory, but Riley quickly averted her eyes before they filled up with tears. Luckily, her homework was on the table in front of her, giving her an excuse to be distracted.

In the back of Riley’s mind, she always thought that they would experience those firsts together. She thought they would share the excitement of a first kiss or work out how fingers fit together while holding hands. She thought it would be them figuring all of that out.

But the day they started dating, Riley truly understood that life doesn’t always happen the way you expect it to.

\--------------------------------------------------

It’s the summer after junior year, and Riley has already dated three different guys on and off.

Nothing ever clicks for her, and in the back of her mind, she knows why.

It’s Friday night. She’s at some party Maya dragged her to, and she’s honestly letting herself feel totally relaxed. She hasn’t felt this carefree in a really long time, but maybe that’s the alcohol talking. Or maybe it’s because she feels pretty confident in her strapless, lilac dress. Either way, the drinks she had before are succeeding in making her tipsy.

She’s sitting on an old couch in the basement while she waits for Maya to come back from the bathroom. Lucas and Zay are sitting at a table behind the couch, laughing at something obviously hilarious. She closes her eyes and lets her mind wonder with the music that’s playing from the stereo across the room. It has that kind of melody that makes her feel like she can be transported anywhere she wants. She opens her eyes as the chorus starts and right in her line of vision are Farkle and Smackle sitting on the floor by the stereo. Currently, she wants the song to transport her anywhere but this party.

She feels the couch dip and assumes it’s Maya, but it takes her a minute to identify the person next to her as some guy she vaguely knows from school. She needs to squint to see him clearly because everything is a little fuzzy around her. He’s apparently talking to her, but Riley can’t hear what he’s saying. And really, she just wants to listen to the music instead.

He makes a confused face and gets closer to Riley. “Are you okay?” he asks.

Riley’s reflexes are delayed by about three seconds, so she only now notices how close he is to her. Her whole body jolts in reaction to his proximity.

Farkle, who’s secretly been keeping an eye on her all night but who has also had a few drinks himself, is alerted by her sudden movement. It doesn’t even enter his mind to fill Smackle in on the situation before making the decision to take action. At first, he struggles to get up and trips a little over his own feet, but then he firmly places them on the ground and makes his way to the couch.

Riley’s not even aware that Farkle’s moving toward her until he’s kneeling next to the couch. He gives her a worried look, and then directs his attention to the boy sitting next to her.

“Take a hint,” Farkle says with as much snark as he can muster. He gently grabs her wrist and leads her out of the room. In a haze, Riley turns back to look at Smackle who is now sitting alone on the floor. Her face is not a display of anger, but instead a sign of understanding. Riley thinks if she was sober, she might comprehend the significance of that better.

The next thing Riley knows, she’s in one of the upstairs bedrooms.

“Riley, please sit down on the bed,” Farkle suggests.

She sits on the edge of the bed and covers her face with her hands. It feels like everything in the room is moving, but when Farkle sits next to her, she feels more grounded.

“Wait, Farkle. What’s happening? Why are we up here? Did you seriously pull me away from that guy? He was just talking to me,” she says, her tone getting angrier with each sentence.

Trying to use calculated responses, Farkle says, “H-he’s just not a good guy, okay? At least that’s what I’ve heard. He was probably just trying to get you to... I don’t want to say it.”

“Why do you even _care_?” she yells, and she means it.

He shakes his head as if to make sense of her words and replies, “Why would I _not_ care _?_ ” He looks at her in complete shock.

Riley questions if her statement is truly out of line, but then she remembers the months in which she stepped back from his life so he could focus on Smackle, and the months in which sometimes they wouldn’t talk for days. Months went by and their trips to Hernshead became less and less frequent, and then one day they just stopped altogether. It was a long forgotten part of their past lives. She recalls all of these things, but says none of them.

As Riley reflects on the past, Farkle reaches out and places his hand on her bare shoulder as a gesture of comfort. It stirs Riley back to the present situation, and her breath hitches at the feeling of his hand on her skin. Had his touch always ignited everything inside her like this, or is it just the alcohol?

Farkle licks his lips as he takes notice of her reaction. Experimentally, he lets his hand wander. His fingers lightly graze her skin as he makes his way down her arm, and it immediately gives Riley goosebumps. Farkle never takes his eyes off her face, but the feeling is too much for Riley, so she closes hers. She can still hear the music playing downstairs, and even though it’s now muted in the background, it intensifies the moment.

Farkle’s hand stops when it reaches her forearm, and he lets his thumb brush back and forth on the same spot over and over again. He notices the harsh rise and fall of Riley’s chest as he does this and suddenly stills his movements. He breaks his gaze to look down, and then he moves his hand to her wrist and unmistakably places his thumb on her pulse. Farkle gasps when he feels it racing under his touch.

Her goosebumps. Her breathing. Her pulse. He’s finally pieced it all together.

He gets it.

Riley is so caught up in the moment that she doesn’t hear Farkle gasp, but a few minutes later the sound of a sniffle takes her by surprise. She immediately lifts her head to look into his eyes and sees that Farkle is on the verge of tears. It takes only a split second for her to break and start crying uncontrollably. Farkle blinks away his tears, guides her head to his shoulder, and nuzzles his nose into her hair.

At least he knows the truth now.

\--------------------------------------------------

It’s their senior year, and everything changes again.

The day Smackle breaks up with Farkle, Riley doesn’t see him at school, but she intuitively knows later that night, he will be sitting at their spot in Central Park. He’ll be waiting for Riley to meet him there.

She finds him sitting cross-legged on the rock, absentmindedly looking up at the night sky. He doesn’t turn around as Riley approaches him despite the loud crunching sounds her boots make as she walks over the newly fallen autumn leaves.

She stops and stands there behind him. She takes in the sight of his shaggy hair and baggy Princeton sweatshirt. Riley thinks about the past few years and what they’ve been through. Memories fill her mind, and even though many of the memories include him, they remind her more of how far apart they seemed.

She thinks about all of the boys she let kiss her because she was constantly looking for the _right_ thing. She thinks about nights at Topanga’s where she would steal glances at Farkle and Smackle huddled together in a corner table. She thinks about all the times she sat at Hernshead alone, and how hard she tried to suppress her tears as people walked by. She thinks about the party and how everything in her body was on fire just from his touch. She thinks about a conversation she accidentally heard between Lucas and Farkle in the hallway, where Farkle was retelling what he and Smackle had tried in his bedroom that past weekend--

Riley shakes her head at that thought. She doesn’t want to remember that.

And she sits next to Farkle as if they never went through any of that. It’s as if they’re freshman again. She sits down next to him and pulls him into a tight hug. As she buries her face in his neck, the familiar earthy scents offer her a moment of nostalgia. Farkle silently pulls them both down to lie on his blanket, and then he’s the first to speak.

“Hey, Riley?” he asks.

“Yeah?” she replies, nervously anticipating what he’s about to say.

“This doesn’t feel the same, you know? It doesn’t feel like when we used to come here in the past.”

“What’s changed?”

Farkle whispers, “Us.”

Overcome by the truth in his words, she turns her head to look at him. His is already there waiting for her, and when their eyes meet, it feels like they finally found their way back to each other. But now, it’s like they’re meeting for the first time as something new. Despite all of the things that happened to them over the past couple of years, it’s still the two of them laying under the stars and breathing in the cool night air. To Riley, it makes perfect sense. It’s all clear, and it’s breathtaking.

Farkle turns his head to look up at the sky. Eyes wide open in amazement, Riley does the same. Her heart skips a beat when she feels Farkle’s hand brush hers. She lets her fingers tentatively graze his a few times until Farkle finally intertwines them.

They’ve found their way back home.

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist (aka songs I used for inspiration):
> 
> Summer before Freshman Year: Learning to Breathe- Switchfoot, After Tonight- Justin Nozuka  
> Spring of Freshman Year: Echo- Trapt, Stories- Trapt  
> Autumn of Sophomore Year: Wake Me Up When September Ends- Green Day, The Scientist- Coldplay, Her Diamonds- Rob Thomas  
> Summer after Junior Year: Meteorites- Lights, On Fire- Switchfoot  
> Autumn of Senior Year: Autumn Leaves- Ed Sheeran, All of the Stars- Ed Sheeran, Peaches- New Heights


End file.
